I promise I will take time to write in the very near future, but wanted to let everyone know things are good. Our trip to the city was wonderful – completely changed my mind about NYC (but I still don’t want to live there!). 16 loved her tour of Europe with the Kansas Ambassadors of Music. 18 can’t wait to move out and be on her own. And 11 had a very successful season of softball and loved every minute of church camp.

We know how blessed we all are to have each other, to be well-insulated from the effects of world-politics. The crops will be abundant even though the prices for them will not. We have enough. We have more than enough, and that is so much more than so many in this world can hope for.

Please know I think of you often, pray for you daily, and stop by as much as I can.

Life is good! –cindy      

Is this month about over??? It’s just crazy how many things a person can get themselves into all at once.

We finally are through with school for the year, as of 1:00 this afternoon. This makes me think I may have some time to just breathe but it never  works out that way. 18 graduated Sunday with many honors and even more scholarships. She will at least have the first year of college completely paid for – including room/board and gas for her car. Hurray! I wasn’t so sure we could pull it off when she chose a private college, but she managed to do it herself. She graduated magna cum laude. Not only is she a great student, she’s a terrific organizer. Many of her teacher’s have depended on her at times and she always manages to be there for whatever is needed. But then, so are my other daughters.  I’m so proud of all of my children!

I’m having a few  problems accepting the notion she will be leaving in a few months. In fact I’ve had to fight back the tears on several occasions. Just not something a mom has a handle on easily, I guess. sigh.

I haven’t mentioned my nephew, Danny, lately. We’ve been so encouraged with his progress. He can get around his house without using a cane most of the time and, except for grocery shopping and the like doesn’t use his wheel-chair much at all. He was able to come to 18s graduation reception (we had it outdoors at the local lake) and was visiting eagerly with everyone. The next day mom called with the news he had had a stroke. Does this bad news ever stop?!? Believe me, work or not, God and I had an intense conversation. Then Danny’s dad called and let us know it had been a very mild one. No lasting visible signs and within a few hours had been dismissed from the hospital and allowed to go home. An MRI should let us know more details. Thank you, God, for answered prayer.

Now the best for last! 16, 18, and I are leaving Monday for 5 days in New York City. We’re staying in a hotel near the airport in New Jersey and have a very busy itinerary. We’re so excited! I have, since I was very little, dreamed of seeing a Broadway musical and next week I will see two - - (dance of joy) - - I normally avoid cities, crowds at all costs and I will admit looking around where we will be on Google Earth has already got me feeling quite claustrophobic, but Broadway is calling my name, and I have answered!

Life is GOOD!  -cindy

With constant attention on the economy, Octomom, the extremes in weather, and the ever-present tragedy du jour, how are you all holding up? Personally, I find myself getting a little crabby. I know what’s going on, but do you have to keep telling me the same things over and over . . . ‘the sky is falling, the sky is falling’… I’m tired of hearing it.

So it was with great joy 16 and I noticed the first calf in the field on the way home from church Sunday. It obviously had just stood and was trying those first tentative steps. A most precious sight! Momma cow was standing proudly at its side and several other cows were nervously watching our permanent stray dog who was just as intrigued by the sight as we were. Yes, Spring has come to the farm!

My first Spring sighting had come a few nights before when I drove into Powhattan to fill the gas tank in the car. As I stepped out to the pump I was met with a cacophony of little froggy voices. This endless chirping has lulled me to sleep many a summer night. Welcome back, guys!

Dear hubby has also been busy. With the unknown’s of the economy we decided to put in a much larger garden than we have been. During the first 20 years of marriage I was fortunate enough to be a stay-at-home-mom. We always had a large garden and I spent many, many hours canning and freezing vegetables. Hot and sometimes tedious work, but oh so satisfying when I’d walk past the pantry and see shelves and shelves of jars sparkling in there. It’s going to be much harder to get things taken care of with both of us working full-time off the farm as well as still farming. But we’ll try our best. I’m thinking this year we just may need to provide for ourselves as much as possible.

I mentioned our permanent stray dog. Poor thing showed up just as the weather really got cold. He won’t come near us, but we started feeding him –moving the food slowly into the barn. He watches us and when we get far enough away he will come in and eat, but then leaves again. We’ve seen him in the wind-break out behind the in-laws and think that must be where he sleeps at night. He’s at least part black lab, is starting to look pretty healthy again. It’s frustrating he won’t let us get close to him, as he seems to be a pretty gentle dog. He doesn’t chase the cows or the cats, just watches. Makes you wonder what has happened in his lifetime.

As I’m writing this we are under some extreme weather warnings – for blizzard conditions of all things! Hopefully the snow will all be south of us. We have had two thunderstorms so far this month. Those of you who know me know these are one of my favorite events. I love to sit out on my porch and watch the lightning, hear the thunder roar across the fields, then listen to the rain. I love watching and hearing the birds prepare for storms. The complete and utter silence that happens just minutes before the storm hits. I swear you can hear a unison sigh of relief from every living thing as the storm passes. Can you believe we are so fortunate to live in a world such as this?!

Soon we will have our first litter of kittens. The men will begin spending their days in the fields preparing the soil and planting crops. There will be so many baby calves we’ll stop noticing the new ones, but be entertained by their joyful play. Seedlings will be visible in the garden and the never-ending battle of bugs and weeds will begin. And lilacs! My lilacs will be blooming, their heady fragrance adding the exclamation point to another beautiful Spring!

Life is good! -cindy

As the song goes, I've had a few.

I'm in the middle of reading the "Twilight" series of books. 17 made me promise to read them since we saw the movie together and I really wasn't all that impressed. The books are okay - definitely better than the movie (name a book that isn't . . .) but, having finished the second book, and a few things that have happened this week have left me feeling kind of out-of-sorts, melancholy, if you will.

I've wondered off and on for years whatever became of another of my friends from Wyoming. (Talk about regrets, I can't believe I didn't try harder to stay in touch with friends through the years. There just really isn't any excuse.) She finally showed up on Classmates.com so I sent her a message. She has visited my page, but not responded. There's no way of knowing, really, if she even remembers me. It's been a long, long time. She was a good friend then, I wish I could say the same about myself. sigh.

I think 17 has decided on a college. They seem to really want her there - they've certainly offered a wonderful scholarship (10,500/year). It's a very small private college and I think she will thrive in that environment. It's about 5 hours away which is a little farther than I'd like, but I know it's time to let go.

16 ended up not playing basketball this year. I miss watching her, but I don't begrudge her the decision. Girl's basketball has really become a violent sport - I can't think of any reason for it, either. It's inexcusable to me that coaches push their athletes to behave like that - and that referees put up with it. Being aggressive is one thing, but deliberately trying to injure the other team has stepped over the line. Anyway, 16 is a beautiful kid in every sense of the word. The coaches really pressured her and I'm proud that she could stand up to that and do what she thought was best for her. She'll still do either softball or track this spring.

10 is just loving middle school. She has her very own sense of style, which leaves the rest of us shaking our heads once in a while, but the other kids seem to admire her for that. We have to rein her in occasionally as she tends to talk non-stop whether she has anything to say or not. (It's also very apparent she has older sisters. Her sarcasm and flippant remarks do not always match her age . . .) 10 is also becoming a decent musician. She is gaining with piano (meaning I can enjoy it as she practices, finally) and loves playing tenor sax in band. I am amazed at her singing as well. When she's not talking she is singing and whether or not she's singing with the radio she can stay in one key quite well, and has a pretty good range and tone. Maybe I will get one kid who enjoys performing out of this mob of mine. They are all talented, but absolutely refuse to perform for others. Rotten kids!!

Hubby and I are still working on the house. I hope to at least have the kitchen and living room redone by 17s graduation, but . . . you know, cobbler's kids have no shoes and all that. We are at a sort of impasse with kitchen cabinets. I'm trying to be patient and have offered several compromises but he tends to just ignore things, hoping they go away. So it goes.

Along with the "Twilight" series of books, I've been reading several of Jodi Piccoult's books. They have such a different voice to them. I really have liked them. "Nights in Rodanthe" by Nicholas Sparks was good as well.

Have you read a book that changed who you were? I think every book I read has some effect on me, but there is one in particular where the effect was profound. This is hard to explain and I don't even think I could define how it changed me, but it did. I'm not sure how we came to have the book. I think someone gave it to my little sister. We both loved it and it changed ownership several times as we each stole it from the other. The book is a children's book, really. Probably for those about 8 to 10. I read it in high school, you know, one of those times when you didn't have a thing to read but were desperate for something. So I picked it up, read it in one sitting, then read it again and again and again. The book is called "Magic Garden" by Gene Stratton-Porter. Published in 1927 it's the story of a little girl named Amaryllis, who runs away and finds a poor boy and his father. This boy is a violinist and the way his playing is described - I can still hear him playing, though I haven't seen the book in more than 30 years. This book changed me, it changed the way I listened to music, the way I played it.

So tell me, what books have had an effect on you? and how?

Life is good! -cindy

The holiday season is by far my favorite time of the year. I love the air of expectation! Don't get me wrong - I see the stress as well. But, well, I just choose not to dwell on that.

This Thanksgiving, I am grateful for a God who promises an abundance.

• Even though we had a tough year on the farm, crops were fairly good. We, as a nation, will have enough to eat - and to share with the world.
• My sister is doing alright with her pacemaker. Still battling pain but able to be up and around. She's a tough cookie! :-)
• My brother's tests came back good, his body is responding to the iron tablets and his strength is returning.
• My cousin, Doug Edwards, was finally responding to his stem-cell transplant (from leukemia) when he suffered a massive heart-attack which left him badly brain-damaged. He passed away Saturday. His funeral is today.

Why would I count a death as an abundant blessing? Well, you had to know Doug. He was a professor in the college of religion at the University of Puget Sound. Doug was about the most interesting man you could find to talk to. He fought a valiant fight, raised a beautiful family. He's in a magnificent place, at peace, healthy, and I have no doubts he's having an amazing conversation right now with the prophets he studied and taught about, and with God, himself. Doug led a life filled with abundant fruit.

I am grateful for so many other things. We had the chance to visit mom and dad a few weeks ago and, as usual, attended church with them Sunday morning. As we stood to sing a hymn I looked at mom. Memories flooded me of the times we have stood in church together. From the days I stood and looked up at her to this day when I seemingly towered over her shrinking frame. It struck me that these days are numbered. Mom will be 85 in January. She's a picture of health and I am so thankful for that - both my parents are healthy. But I just don't want to take these precious moments for granted.

That's why I love the holidays. I am reminded that they are in celebration of a God that doesn't take us for granted. He saw our struggles and sent us help. His sacrifice for us was ultimate. Sometimes it is hard not to lose sight of what it is we are to celebrate. When that happens I try to schedule some extra "Us" time - time spent at the piano playing Christmas music, time alone in the car with my favorite CD playing, time in my bedroom reading His word. It always lifts my spirits, renews my energy, and puts joy in my smile!

Happy Thanksgiving, Life is good! -cindy

Again. Wanted to put a picture of 17 and her dad at the crowning ceremony. Oh well.

She didn't win, but we are all good with that. The girls that she thought would win from their time together did. It is an incredible honor for her to be the one selected from the H.S. students to represent them. I'm incredibly proud of her!

Cali sis came through her surgery wonderfully. She wasn't quite prepared for the pain that would follow, but health-wise there wasn't a hitch. She is such a wonderful sister and I'm so thankful she went to the Dr. and they were aggressive with treatments. Love you, Sister!

No word yet on my brother. Will let you know as soon as we get word. Haven't heard yet, either, whether the stem cell transplant for my cousin was successful. I am so hopeful it will end his struggles!

Today is our 32nd Wedding Anniversary! So, I'm leaving work early today. Hubby, being the 'darling' he is, told me this morning he "guessed" he could take me along to the cattlemen's BBQ he'd been invited to . . . jerk. I decided at that moment to give myself - in his behalf - a one-hour massage at the local spa. Gonna be feeling good tonight!

Life is GOOD! -cindy

Quite a title, don't you think?!

Life just never ceases to amaze me. The Barnes household is in more a state of pandemonium than usual. Let's start with the good stuff:

I've written before about the amazing Hiawatha Halloween Parade. The oldest in the nation, it was started almost 100 years ago to give the teenagers something to do other than tip over all the local out-houses on Halloween night. Each year they crown a local girl "Halloween Queen" give her a hefty scholarship and she leads the parade in a bright shiny convertible. When I first moved to this town (as a senior in High School) I thought it was hysterical that anyone would actually want that label, but seems it's quite an honor. My M-I-L was even one in 1948! (How fitting is that, I ask!!)

Each little town in this and the surrounding counties select a representative, who must present an essay she has written and go through an interview process. Then just before the parade begins, the girls are introduced to the crowd, the queen announced and crowned. It is a BIG DEAL.

Yes, I know, you're ahead of me . . . 17 is Hiawatha's candidate. We are all excited and have had so much fun trying to select her outfits for the interview and the parade (it's usually COLD). She swears they have made an awful mistake in selecting her - - there are others much smarter, better, etc. I'm telling you, I have the greatest kids! Here's the picture she selected for the newspaper articles:  

She's got her eyes on a PhD. in the future so any scholarship she can get will be more than welcomed!

Next, we'll go to Bay Windows. We live in an old house. Built around 1881, it is a typical farm house from those times. In other words: little bitty rooms. That said, it does hold all of us, and it does have plenty of personality. But my kitchen has always been a trial for me. Hubby remodeled it before we met and really, what does he know about planning a kitchen?? For thirty years when someone has been seated at the table I have been unable to open the oven door AND/OR the refrigerator door. This is not handy! So, we talked about adding a large bay window which would allow the table to mostly sit in there out of the way. He said it would be no problem. I've brought it up occasionally (like EVERY Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas, birthday) and yes, he'll do that, it'd be nice. Aaargh! So - - about 10 - 15 years ago he decided the house needed new siding. It did, so we picked out a nice soft gray and he started putting it on. When he got to the east side I stopped him - "You can't do this side until you get the bay window done!" "Yeah, you're right. Okay."

Finally, this summer I told him to go ahead and finish the house. It's been forever and it looks stupid with one side undone. So, HE STARTS PUTTING THE SIDING ON! I was livid! Now, I tend to be a patient person. I try very hard to never nag. For most of the last 32 years I haven't nagged. But when our pastor dropped by and said "Oh, how nice. You're finally getting your house finished." well, I unloaded on her. About the time I finished, David had the misfortune to enter the picture . . . It's amazing what can happen when you add your pastor to the mix! The window is in, the siding is finished, I'm waiting on the floor to be finished so I can paint. And to be really brave, I mentioned how wonderful it would be to replace the cabinets . . . I'm excited!

And in the midst of all this mom called. I could tell immediately she needed to talk. Rats, that's hardly ever good . . .

My little brother has been married 16 years. In fact, he was married the day 16 was born - something his wife has yet to forgive me for: how could I upstage her wedding by giving birth 3 hours before their ceremony! Believe me, it wasn't MY idea. It's been a rocky relationship for them all along.  She's native Columbian, from a wealthy family, used to having things her way. They both are the babies in the family. Don't think he would be the easiest person in the world to live with, either.

The final straw, I guess, was her threatening to put down his dog. He's filed for divorce and it will probably be messy. I hope for the sake of their three children they both take the high road, but don't really see that happening. sigh.

Then, I have a cousin who has battled leukemia for a long time. He is a professor at a Washington state university. Has a doctorate in Theology. A wonderful man. We don't see Doug often but I love to sit and listen to him talk. Anyway, time is running out. All treatments have been exhausted and he is no longer in remission. This week he is undergoing the procedure that will kill his marrow and they will transplant his sister's stem cells. I pray this is successful as I have not spent nearly enough time with him and I know many who feel the same.

And speaking of leukemia . . . my older brother (father of the nephew -Danny- with the brain injury) has been to the doctor where they diagnosed him with severe anemia. His strength and energy has just been exhausted since his sons accident. They've tried several strengths of iron supplements but are beginning to look at other causes. Last week they upped his dosage again, but said if it doesn't change things soon they would begin testing him for leukemia. No wonder mom sounded worried!

My brother is one of the most wonderful people I know. He's shy, very much a loner (we call him our little (he's 6'7") hermit), but will go that extra mile to help someone every time. I've depended on him so many times in this life. He has a great sense of humor, loves Linda Ronstadt, and after years and years of saving finally got himself a Harley. He's worked hard all of his life and given everything he's earned to those around him who needed it more. I know this has scared him. If he's got what Doug has - who will be there for Danny?

So, we ask for your prayers for those facing difficulty in the days ahead.

And think of me in the next few days. 17 doesn't seem fazed - but mom is getting a little anxious!!

Life is good! -cindy

I just got a phone call from my Cali. sister. She's in the hospital with some heart problems. They are telling her she is going to need a pace-maker! We all are just too young for this. She is in good spirits, is getting very good care, she says. Prayers welcomed. -c

Time just keeps marching on, doesn't it! Sorry for such a long gap.

The farm and the household have been busy, busy. Guess I'll start with the farm. Just as we had feared, once the rains stopped so we could finish planting, it stopped pretty much for good. We went for 6 or 7 weeks without a drop of moisture. "Oh, but there was plenty of subsoil moisture. That could easily get you through several weeks," you say. Well, usually, yes. But since it rained for the first 2 months of growth in the corn there were no roots. See, just like people, if a plant is not stressed, tested if you will, there is no need for it to prepare for stress. If every time you need a drink of water it's there at your right hand you're not going to bother keeping a pitcher in the fridge - no need to! Consequently most corn crops around are minimal, with many fields already being harvested - a good six weeks earlier than usual (bearing in mind it was planted about a month later than usual). Soybeans got just the opposite. Planted in mud, then nothing at all. Many fields had begun turning yellow before they got their first drink.

That said, our fields look very good compared to most. But I do ask you to keep the family farms in your prayers. We depend on our crops - not government subsidies - to see us through.

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At home we are running in every imaginable direction - and loving every minute of it! Here are a few updates:

17 has been one surprise after another. She came home last spring with the news she was trying out for cheerleader. Now, this is just about as opposite as you can get from her. This is my "academic, nose-constantly-in-a-book, would-rather-stay-home" child. I was (still am) shocked, but excited that she wanted to try something different. So, she's a cheer-leader which means we go to every game, not just the home ones. She is involved in Student Council, National Honor Society, KAY Club, Biology Club, Redhawk Readers, Flag Squad, marching band, to name a few - and is an officer in many of these. Is your head spinning yet?

15 is now 16 and has her driver's license. They share a car and a cell phone - no simple task for teens! 16 is going full-steam in volleyball. She lifted weights all summer (very dedicated to be in town by 7 five days a week during summer vaca, don't you think) and has shown great improvement. She is a starter on the JV team and they have a pretty good record so far. She is involved in almost as many things as 17 as well.

The clincher so far this year is when 16 came home and told me she had tried out for this year's musical "Seven Brides for Seven Brothers". Another completely out of character move! She kept telling me I needed to make 17 try out. Yeah, fat chance!! Well, during the first night of practice I sent a text to 17 asking if she would be in town long enough to bring 16 home. She informed me she was at play practice, too - she had also tried out, just not let anyone know! Then this week while I was working a concession stand for the Band, the director asked me if I would be willing to play flute in the pit orchestra . . . We're ALL in the musical!! I'm so pleased that my daughters are trying so many things - especially musically. It's going to be a blast! This entire year is going to be fun!

Can't forget to talk about 10. She is absolutely beside herself in her excitement to be in Middle School. She just chose her band instrument (tenor sax) and has been practicing at home (oh joy) the precious moments we are there. 10 is definitely her own little person and it is such a joy watching her grow and mature. She still has trouble with her reading skills, but has developed work-arounds that her teachers have described as "incredible". She is every bit as responsible as her older sisters for her homework. We never have to remind them to get busy, which, believe me is so very very different than it was with her oldest sister and brother. Such a relief!

26 is still holding her own. The twins will be two in less than a month and there just aren't any sweeter little girls! The boys are now 9, 7, and 4 and as precious as they are will, I'm afraid, always be a handful. How someone who would never have kids ended up with 5! Well . . .lol. She is still trying so hard to get through college, although she seems to have decided to wait at least this semester. I've encouraged her to try substitute teaching for a while as there is a huge shortage in the area and she always has a huge $$ shortage as well. We'll see.

And then there's my son. I am so proud of the father he is to his two sons. It has to be so very hard to be a single dad. (mom, too) His little one started kindergarten this year so that makes it a little easier to get them both off to the same place before he heads off to work. The 'lady-friend' with the two boys still is there every time you turn around. (She is almost my age and he has made it very clear to her that his feelings for her are not the same as hers.) Through several of her 'antics' she burned her bridge with me. I don't understand why he continues to 'rescue' her but he has to make his own life. I have to believe him when he tells me he is staying clean. There are no signs he is lying and I no longer believe her. There is a problem though, and I ask for your continued prayers.

Caleb was one of those precocious kids. He had this amazing understanding of God. Of the stories of the Bible. Definitely knew he had the kind of intimate relationship we all need. Innocence of a child . . .  Several months ago the Jehovah's Witnesses came knocking at his door. Well, the guy that was with them has really made an impression on my son. He can answer every question with scripture and verse. There has been bible study every week and Caleb and his 'ladyfriend' have begun attending services. I have tried and tried to point out the beliefs he has turned his back on to no avail. I finally got him to commit to sitting down with me and letting me show him scripture to refute what he thinks the JWs have proven. I think I can do this - although I don't have the knowledge to just pop out scripture and verse. I can usually find what I'm looking for, though. But mostly, I want to convince him to not take my word for it, nor this other guys. He needs to recognize the hunger he has for the Word (I do think that is what this whole thing is about) and read it, pray about it for himself. That is what needs to happen most!

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Also wanted to add a quick update on my nephew. He has been home for almost a month now. He still has almost no use of his left side which is so hard for us to accept. It is still quite apparent he has a lot of recovery time left for his brain injury as well.

I spoke with my brother last night and the relief D. felt about being back in his own home is beginning to wear off and depression set back in. It has to be frustrating. He can't really be left alone yet so there is always a home health nurse with him.

He remembers (most of the time) that his wife was killed. (Although what he says is, "Do you know I killed my wife." which absolutely breaks our hearts.) He has expressed that he would like to start writing songs again so I took a leap and ordered him a small synthesizer and software. (I'll make my sisters help me pay for it . . . lol) I'm hoping he can eventually use it to return to his bands as bassist. Being somewhat a musician myself, I know how much a part of him that is. Hopefully, we can give that part back to him.

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That's all I have time for - should have left 20 minutes ago to pick up 16s things from school before I take 10 to piano.

Take care. Life is good!  -cindy

My grandsons have taken a liking to making this grandma make funny faces. They think it's so cool to give me one of these horrid new candies that are so sour your face immediately contorts into uncontrollable shapes. I have said, on more than one occasion, "Who on earth would make something like this, and why would anyone ever pay to eat it!?"

Well, that got me to thinking. These kids think they are so original . . . Hah! Have you ever eaten a stalk of rhubarb??? Now, THAT'S sour! I could take a rhubarb stalk, a bowl of sugar and have an all day snack - it took that long to eat it. Or try eating a bowl of pie cherries . . . not for the light-hearted I tell you.

When I was a little kid, growing up in Burlington, Colorado candy was something we got a little of on Halloween night and on Christmas morning. That was it. I don't remember ever having it available until I was in Junior High in Riverton, Wyoming and we had a candy machine by the office.

I love rhubarb, although not necessarily raw (shudder!). Mom used to cook it with lots of sugar and we would eat it on toast - or better yet - on Daddy's pancakes. Now that was yummy. Rhubarb crisp was another favorite.

As for the pie cherries, I wrote an entry about our neighbor, Marshall Farnsworth. He was confined to a wheelchair because of arthritis. He always had time to entertain us neighborhood kids and he had three cherry threes in his backyard. The two boys across the street, Kenny and Marvin, would each climb up in a tree and, if left alone, could spend the day up there eating cherries. Yes, there were some profound stomach aches . . .

Don't you love childhood memories? What were some of your favorite things to eat that today's kids would find "totally gross"??*************************************************************

Yesterday we finally got the last 100 acres of soybeans planted! I can't ever remember a year so late! We had just about given up thinking we should just be happy to have what we did have planted, but sunshine prevailed - we've had 5 days of sunshine as of today - with thunderstorms predicted for tonight and tomorrow. This is definitely a year for the record books! We've been so fortunate to miss all the extremes - all around us there has been hail (from nickel to softball sized!), tornadoes have touched down within miles of us, and there is so much flooding everywhere. Our hearts are with those in Iowa, Illinois, Indiana, Missouri, etc. whose crops, homes, and livelihoods have been destroyed. While some will benefit with higher crop prices we know some will lose all they have because of it.

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My nephew continues to improve. He is settled into the rehab facility. He has been told of his wife's death but doesn't always remember. My brother said the other day he wanted to go "back to my room."

"You're in your room."

"No. I want to go to my room"

"This is your room. You're in your room."

"No I'm not! If I were in my room A. would be here."

So my brother had to explain again. He was close to both of them and it's so hard for him to have to explain over and over. But, we'll get through it. We try to find encouragement in the daily routines he's once again trying to master. It's going to take time - but time is the one thing we do have!

Life is good! -cindy

Tornadoes, Floods, Drought, Earthquakes, we've had them all in the midwest this Spring. Is Someone trying to get our attention, or what!

Fortunately, we have so far avoided the hail and tornadoes that have plagued our immediate area. But this rain - - surely it has to stop sometime. We had about 5 days of sunshine and semi-warm temps in the middle of May. Just enough time to get the corn planted. There's a lot of ground waiting for soybeans - and it's not going to be dry anytime soon.

We did get some nice enough days early last week so cut some hay - it's probably not worth baling now as it's been rained on almost continuously since. (Wet hay is kind of like boiling vegetables: the longer it's boiled the more vitamins and nutrients are destroyed by the heat. Rain acts much the same way, washing away the nutrition and leaving tough, tasteless stems.) Anyway, what I am trying to say is frustrated farmers being kept from their fields are not a whole lot of fun to live with . . . I'll leave the rest up to your imagination! :^)

Other than weather, we are managing to get softball and volleyball games in in between the storm clouds and as always, the ball fields are a great place for family time during the summer. 16s team is amazing, undefeated so far. We have a new coach this year - REALLY hate to lose the one she's had for so many years, but stuff happens - and I do have some issues with her extreme competitiveness and lack of sense of fairness, but last night she proved to me she does at least have a good sense of spiortsmanship. The team we played was mad about losing and as they slapped hands with each other at the end of the game many of them had spit (lots of spit) into their hands. Of course our girls thought this completely disgusting (as did we parents). Their coach did nothing, and as those same girls were calling taunts across the field our coach told the girls not to react, not to 'stoop' to that. it was a fair game, they played extremely well and to be proud of that and let the rest go. Good for her!

We've also been busy this week setting up a huge garage sale. Our two-point charge has supported the youth group the last three years with LOTS of donations for these sales. This is our major fund raiser for our mission trips. The sale starts at noon today so I will be leaving the office soon. I always told myself these sales were just too much work, I'd much rather donate my excess to a thrift shop or something similar and let them benefit from the profits. Guess it's just one more 'never' I shouldn't have uttered . . . But the kids have a grand time going through every thing. (Seems there is always at least one outfit that the girls just have to dress the guys in.) And in the end the fellowship they enjoy while working hard together is more than worth the effort.

My nephew is slowly recovering. He is semi-alert, recognizes people. We hope to move him to a rehab facility soon as the hospital he's in is both restraining and sedating him regularly which to my RN little brother is not at all good. We know we are in for a long recovery but we hope for the best. Thank you all for your prayers.

Because of his band he seems to be a fairly popular kid. There have been many, many people come to the hospital just to stand and stare at him. This was upsetting not only to him, but to the family as well. Along the same lines there were suddenly hundreds of searches for them by name. I felt like I had to set my site to private for several weeks - I tried to set it so my friends were not excluded - so my apologies if you were. I finally decided to just edit the post and delete their names. Hopefully that will work.

Life is good. -cindy

At about 1:55 a.m. May 10 my nephew, D, and his wife of 7 months, A, were returning home after performing with his band. For some reason, D, who was wearing his seat belt, lost control of the car on loose gravel and propelled off the road into a creek bed below. A was not wearing a seat belt for some reason. It would be about 10 hours before they were discovered.

A did not survive. D is in critical condition after being life-flighted to a Topeka hospital with a hemorrhaging brain and undergoing surgery for that. He is not yet aware of Ashley's death.

How do I start here . . . Fortunately, our family and our son and his sons were at my parents, visiting for Mother's Day, when my brother called with the news. I say fortunately because these things are unbelievably hard on my parents, especially dad. They lost a daughter in the '60s, a grand-daughter in 2000. You don't recover from those losses completely, ever. Anyway, we helped them pack a suitcase and caravanned with them to the hospital.

D's one of those kids (kind of like my son) that you wonder about - - will he ever grow up, straighten himself out. He was an extremely smart kid, bored with school. Loved music and had an ear for it. Dropped out of high school, got his G.E.D. even though he really didn't see a need for it. Messed around with drugs and alcohol. By the time he was old enough to drink he had lost his driver's license for 2 years because of 2 DUIs. Sweet kid but you just wanted to "smack some sense into him".

Then he met A. It was like the sun suddenly started to shine. He stopped the destructive behavior. Got a job, bought a house. Then he found the band, tried out for it and became their bass player. He was a different kid - completely, utterly happy. A was his heart. Music was his life.

The Dr.'s warned us he would probably be paralyzed on his left side if he survived the brain surgery. I know they have to 'prepare you for the worst' but we are hopeful. He does show some movement. He is not conscious - though they say  he isn't comatose - but he responds quite strongly to two people: his dad and his cousin, Caleb (my son). In fact, because his blood pressure spikes so extremely when Caleb is with him, Caleb is not allowed to touch or speak to him for the time being. That seems kind of harsh, but at the same time it gives us great hope.

My brother is an atheist. It is so hard to offer hope and comfort to him. I just don't know what to say, what to do for him.

I ask for prayer for my family. For my brother, that he may know hope. For my older sister, as she relives the fear and the grief she experienced eight years ago when she lost her only child. For my parents as they battle the memories and the fear of losing yet another family member. For my children and my nieces and nephews as they cope with the injuries and long recovery of a favorite cousin - and the loss of Ashley who they greatly admire and love. For all of us as we grieve at Ashley's memorial service tomorrow morning. For safe passage as we travel both to her services and back and forth to the hospital for the months to come. Thank you all.

Life is good. Although it can be so very hard.  -cindy

We had a lovely memorial service for A Friday morning. More and more details are coming to light and this seems to be the conclusion of what happened:

D, who was driving the car had an aneurysm burst in his brain and lost control of the car.  A took off her seat-belt in an attempt to take control - at this point the car was in the ditch heading for a creek bed. She was unable to stop the car before it plummeted over the edge, was airborn for about 170 feet, hit a tree as it landed.

This, to all of us, makes so much sense. A usually wore a seat belt and it was so puzzling that one had theirs on but the other didn't. And they had such an amazing love for each other. Talk about soul mates - these two were the very definition! How fitting, how comforting that A gave up her life trying (and succeeding) to save D's.

The Class of 1975, Hiawatha High School, lost another member last week.

 51 years old. I can't help but wonder how his life was, did he ever find any fulfillment?  I always wondered how he felt about how life had treated him (or him it).

I moved to Hiawatha the summer before my senior year of HS. There were a couple of girls in my class who were aware of our arrival and they made me feel welcomed and at home almost immediately. When school started I was assigned a locker next to this guy - pretty good-looking - named Donnie Pupkes. Being very shy I don't think I ever said anything more than "hi" to him, but I always smiled when we passed - I always smile at everyone, just habit. He turned out to not be such a nice guy. He made fun of me everytime there was someone there to listen to him. Didn't bother me, I have brothers, I knew how to ignore him. His words were cruel.

It didn't take long to understand that drugs and alcohol were a major part of his life. Every day was just one big party. He wasn't alone - it was the '70s after all.

Shortly after graduation I heard he was involved in a serious motorcycle accident and had suffered from some severe head injuries among others. Then a few times I ran across him stranded on one of our country roads. I always stopped to ask if I could call someone for him and he always replied someone was on their way. I don't know if he remembered who I was or not - most likely not.

The past several years the only time I saw him seemed to be while I was visiting or waiting for someone in the hospital. I would hear this odd pattern of footsteps: step, s-w-i-s-h, step, s-w-i-s-h. Soon he would appear around a corner, arms folded up against himself, turned almost sideways, pretty much dragging the left side of his body. He would always meet my glance, and we would exchange "hello"s. It was apparent he was still very much under the influence of drugs and alcohol.

I don't know what he died from. He always seemed so empty, so alone. Donnie, I pray you are at peace.

Sometimes life seems so unfair,

but all in all,

Life is good.

-cindy

The only thing I ever say is "I'm so busy . . ."

But, that's a good thing.

It's been a crazy Spring on the farm. Little calves are arriving every day and I feel so bad for them - - it's been soooooooooooo cold! We haven't had more than two days in a row of sunshine for as long as I can remember (granted, that's not all that long). So much snow, rain, and mud! I'm thinking of planting a garden in the kitchen this year. Heaven knows there's enough dirt being tracked in every day to make it possible!

No kittens yet which is terrible for the girls . . . our favorite thing in the world is searching for - and finding baby kittens in the hay. They're so soft and sweet. I'm not sure how we ended up with six toms and no females . . . we're going to have to check out the neighbors. (Farm cats tend to wander which is a good thing, really.)

We've been busy with piano recitals, band and vocal recitals and  softball, although we're about to become WAY busier with the latter. And we just finished Prom with 17! Whew! It was a great time for her classmates and her. The Jr. Class parents plan and raise monies for an After Prom Party which I'm sure most of you do as well. I was chair of the Food Committee so was expected to be present throughout the night to keep things stocked. I am always amazed at the amount of food high school kids can consume - and I certainly wasn't disappointed this time! All in all, it was a great time. I'm about caught up with my sleep (when you can't sleep anyway, it doesn't take long to "make-up" what you missed). and we have some great stories to talk and laugh about. Edit: 17 is first one on the left.

I had planned on a "State of the Farm" entry, but with so much rain we have not made it into the field much at all. This is a bit of a worry as each new day dawns just as wet as the one before. Tempers tend to flare and stress can have an iron grip when a farmer thinks he's behind. Trouble is, try as he might, no farmer yet has gained control of the weather. I'll try to do better at keeping things up-to-date, but bear in mind softball for 15 and 10 is just about to hit full swing.

See you in the stands!

Life is good -cindy

Live in such a way that those who know you but don't know God,

will come to know God because they know you.

Mother Theresa

May you be blessed - and be a blessing this Easter.

Life is good!

-cindy